


Not Winners, but Losers

by Milkyuyu



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Canon Divergence, M/M, i don't know how to tag, it's not exactly major death, not exactly alternate universe, they are all nice boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-24
Updated: 2015-02-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 21:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3426749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Milkyuyu/pseuds/Milkyuyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This wasn't part of Hide's plan. Facing off against his best friend was eons away from his plan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Winners, but Losers

**Author's Note:**

> I suppose it takes place before the ending of Tokyo Ghoul, before the you-know-what incident with Arima, but after the whole Aogiri tree attack and then canon divergence from there since this never actually happened. Also, I have very poor memory so if some details are wonky, I apologize. I get confused easily.

"Get him Hide!"  
  
"He won't stand a chance!"  
  
"He's weak now!"  
  
"Give him what he deserves!"  
  
"Kill him!"  
  
"You heard them Hide! Come at me! Just try to kill me before I kill you!"

No, this was wrong. This wasn't how it was supposed to go. He wasn't supposed to go up against Kaneki. The other ghouls weren't supposed to have abandoned Kaneki. Kaneki wasn't supposed to taunt him. This was _wrong_.

_Wrong wrong wrong_.  
  
"What are you waiting for Hide? Get him!"  
  
He was the only one left with a quinque. He was the only one who could destroy the final ghoul who hadn't run away. He could still fight even if his knees were shaking and his arms trembling. Even if he couldn't breath (it wasn't out of fear).  
  
He wasn't ready. He was never supposed to be ready.  
  
"Come at me!" Kaneki screamed, his kagune thrashing wildly behind him. "Or I guess I'll go to you!" His kagune suddenly shot out at Hide who managed to move out of the way enough for one of the tentacles to simply knock him to the ground.  
  
 _Pretty_ , he manages to think in the back of his head. _Shining scales, huh? Beautiful, Kaneki._  
  
"Hide, move!!"  
  
Kaneki's running towards him too fast to give Hide a chance to swing his quinque even if he wanted to (which he doesn't) so he stands and tries to run away, though he knows he'd never be able to outrun him like this.  
  
Just as he was taking his first few running steps, Kaneki's kagune wrapped around his leg and lifted him from the ground so fast, Hide's face never made contact with the ground.  
  
"Idiot!" Kaneki laughed manically as he threw him across the street.  
  
Hide landed in the dumpster, which would have been comical at any other time, but he was more concerned with the fact that he had landed in a  _soft_ dumpster. Someone had thrown away a mattress and what looked like stuffing for pillows and dolls.  
  
Hide felt eternally grateful for this miracle and was just as grateful when he realized he was still holding on to his quinque. There were probably voices shouting at him to do something, but Hide couldn't hear them at all. The fear and adrenaline running through him was too great, the current of the blood in his ears too loud.  
  
"Thank goodness I never let go of things, I guess," he thought to himself.  
  
He jumped out of the dumpster, immediately taking note of Kaneki walking towards him slowly, like a hunter toying with prey barely worth his time.  
  
"Thank goodness I never let go," he thought again.  
  
He couldn't see Kaneki very well, but Hide didn't recognize the Kaneki he once knew anywhere in _that_ Kaneki's walk, his voice, his taunts. He was vastly different, with some serious power that he had no doubt used before to kill other ghouls and investigators. He was strong, and now all that strength was going to be used on him, his best friend.  
  
Best friend because no matter what changed, Kaneki was still there. Hide knew that for a fact. He could pull Kaneki out, the same way he would tear him away from his books and bring him back to reality where he belonged. Hide had no doubt he could save him. He wasn't some magic hero that could save everyone or anyone from the darkest pits of themselves like some shounen manga, but he knew he could pull _hit_ Kaneki out of the Kaneki in front of him. It might have been wishful thinking, but Hide was confident. It was possible and he knew he could do it.

But he was utterly powerless before his best friend. His knees were still shaking, and his breathing was still fast, his vision blurry. He quinque wasn't even remotely steady.  
  
He was drawing his quinque in an unsteady manner before one of the highest ranked ghouls.  
  
He was facing on the highest ranked ghouls _alone_.  
  
He was drawing his quinque against his best friend.  
  
He wasn't ready.  
  
The plan was supposed to be him becoming an investigator and obtaining a quinque. When things got ugliest, he would act so no one would notice one person from both sides was missing. He would gather up all the data he could before then to predict when the war between the ghouls and the investigators would reach a peak, keeping it hidden long enough for him to find out information on Kaneki's whereabouts, who he, or rather _Centipede_ , was aligned with and then figure out the other major ghouls' whereabouts so he wouldn't run into them and he could be quick in finding Kaneki and running away.  
  
That was it. It was simple and though the resolution could have used some more thinking, he had no doubt that no matter what happened, it would all be okay when he saw Kaneki again and he grabbed his hand and made him smile and tugged him along to run away with him where they wouldn't worry about it anymore.  
  
Because this was too much for Kaneki. It was obvious just from looking at Centipede who wasn't even fully Kaneki, therefore didn't deal with  _all_ his pain.  
  
Hide hadn't even killed anyone yet. He was only sent out because they were extremely low on investigators capable of wielding quinques and swinging them well enough to cause some actual damage. He only got three test runs, simulations in the lab, died in two of the three, and he passed.

Them sending out a newbie who died twice in the simulation probably also had to do with his affiliation with Kaneki, their enemy Centipede. Maybe they hoped the sentimental value of the two against each other would make Kaneki stop and easy to kill, but it seemed like Centipede was stronger than that. He didn't just build armor around his body, but also his heart. He closed off Kaneki from emotions other than rage and hunger and madness.  
  
In a way, Hide was glad. At least Kaneki wouldn't die, right?  
  
This was a nightmare.  
  
Kaneki laughed as he jumped high into the air, his kagune shooting out and piercing the wall directly behind Hide like grappling hooks, but also like it was trying to envelope him. He stayed suspended in the air, his kagune shining like red rivers of bright, red stars.  
  
"Kaneki, stop! Please! I know you are there! Inside!" Hide shouted.  
  
He shoots like a bullet through the air towards Hide, his kagune pulling him forward.  
  
"You'll pierce yourself on my quinque!" It suddenly dawns on Hide that Kaneki might be trying to kill himself, so he drops the quinque and instead opens his arms as if inviting Kaneki for a hug. "I'm not afraid of you, Kaneki! You won't hurt me! I know it!"  
  
Kaneki comes to a smooth stop right before Hide, their faces so close, their noses could touch with just a centimeter more. He's close enough that Hide hears his voice loud and clear, not Centipede's taunting voice, but Kaneki's. It's soft, full of sadness and longing and wistfulness. It was a heavy sound weighed down by pain.  
  
Hide felt sweat drip down the side of his face and down his cheeks. Maybe they were actually tears. Or maybe they were both. He doesn't know, but he doesn't care and he doesn't dare breathe or make a sound.  
  
"Oh Hide, I knew you would never hurt me. I would never hurt you either. I'm only looking out for you," he says as his kagune wraps around Hide but without constricting him. "I was only trying to protect you. I led the investigators to a specific area and I knew they would use you last as a trump card, so I waited for this moment with you and me, when I could finally lead you away from the other investigators.

The dumpster I flung you in belongs to a stuffed animal company, next door is a mattress company. I hoped it wouldn't hurt too much when you fell from the sky." Kaneki gave the ground a somber smile. The entire time, he didn't make eye contact with Hide and Hide was so stunned he couldn't say a word nor move a muscle.  
  
"Believe me, okay? I'm protecting _you_ ," he suddenly made eye contact with Hide and Hide could see Kaneki's desperate and silent pleas for Hide to believe him. To trust him.  
  
Hide was nearly completely wrapped in Kaneki's kagune, except for his head, but he wasn't afraid. If anything, he felt comforted by the rinkaku. It was an extension of Kaneki, like his arms, and it was warm. The rinkaku was a part of Kaneki and Hide couldn't believe he had felt so afraid of it earlier.  
  
"Beautiful," he whispered, staring at Kaneki.  
  
For a moment, Kaneki looked bewildered, but he didn't bring it up. "We have to go now. You'll be safe in there," he said, pointing to the kagune cocoon he had made for Hide. "Please don't be afraid."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
To Hide, it all felt so surreal. It was a dream, surely, because just moments ago it was a nightmare and things didn't change so aburptly and for the better. Surely, it was just his imagination. Kaneki was keeping him safe? In a kagune cocoon? Was...was he planning for them to run away together too? Him and Kaneki? They had the same idea? This entire time, after the first Aogiri attack, had Kaneki been trying to reach this point too?  
  
"My kakuja makes me faster and stronger. I'll need it so please don't be afraid of me."  
  
"I promise."  
  
There it is. A warm smile from Kaneki. The old ones he used to give Hide when he was just a simple bookworm at a university. When they were out together having fun and when Hide was teasing him. When things were normal. Hide's heart flutters and everything seems like it'll be okay, even if he didn't grab Kaneki's hand and even if he wasn't the one to save Kaneki and it was the other way around.  
  
It could be. They would run away now. _Right now_.  
  
"Hide, I--" Kaneki's eyes suddenly went wide and he coughed blood onto Hide's face. More blood comes out of his mouth in a steady trickle.  
  
"Hi...de?" Kaneki's wide eyes search Hide's face for an answer, but both faces mirror each other.  
  
Kaneki looks down, and there, protruding from his stomach is Hide's quinque. It had pierce him from behind, the blade slicing clean through his flesh. It had only stopped going through because it had met resistance from Kaneki's kagune wrapped around Hide's body. Had it not been there, it would have pierced him too.  
  
Both had thought they were going to be free of this investigator versus ghoul life. They had truly believed that  _they_ had won, the two of them. They hadn't even noticed the sound of approaching footsteps. The shock of actually being the losers was so great to Kaneki that he was too slow in reacting after the first blade cut him. As soon as he had even said Hide's name, he was impaled by more quinques.  
  
"Great work, Nagachika," one of Hide's superiors said from the shadows.  
  
"I sense someone's grand promotion after this," someone laughed.  
  
"Centipede finally ran out of legs," others joked.  
  
"Who would have known it was this easy?"  
  
Kaneki continued to stand there, his kagune still pulsing bright red even though there was a river of blood running down his chin and there was blood pooling all around them. "Kaneki, I--"  
  
"Hide...It'll be...all right." Kaneki's kagune dulled in color and it began to disintegrate as he fell to his knees. "You'll...be okay. I only...wished...to protect you...the most...a rabbit...surround by wolves.*"  
  
Hide remained frozen in place, even when the other investigators began to one-by-one pull their quinques out of Kaneki. Hide's was the last to be pulled out.  
  
"Time to get the kakuhou!" someone cheered.  
  
Hide screamed. "No! No! _Nononono!_ "  
  
He fell to his knees just in time to catch Kaneki from falling forward and held him in his arms,  
  
his head on his shoulder, as he began to sob. He could feel Kaneki's blood soaking through his clothes and hear the Kaneki's faint exhales. He placed his hand on the back of Kaneki's head, keeping one wrapped around his shoulders, and sobbed.  
  
Kaneki was dying. And if he couldn't protect him in the end, he was sure as hell going to be there with him till the end.  
  
"Kaneki!" he wailed. "You'll heal," he said in vain. "You'll definitely heal. I'll heal you! I'll do it! I'll take you home and keep you warm and feed you and it'll just be me and you and you in bed and we'll play games and drink coffee and you'll heal! We'll forget all about this and we'll live together and we'll have a nice place that would make your aunt mad and be the envy of everyone we know! It'll be calm and we can go back to university and study and be okay... You can be okay... You can be okay again... I promise! I'll fix you! I'll help you... Oh, I'll fix you...Kaneki... I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry, Kaneki... I didn't know... I'm so sorry."  
  
"Hi...de..."  
  
"No one will take your kakuhou! No one will take your anything! I won't let them! I'm so--"  
  
"Hi...de... It's all right... Even if I couldn't protect you... I'm okay with dying here with you... I always...always...more than...anything...I always...loved you."  
  
And Hide screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> *sounds like a pun, right? (ghouls) I'm so sorry
> 
> Anyway, some things in this are funky I think, but I'm full of cheese and these two make me happy even though I ended up writing something so sad. I feel like this isn't quite...right.
> 
> I haven't written anything in a while. It feels that way anyway so I apologize if anything seems funny.


End file.
